J

Have you ever taken the Meyrs Briggs Test ?

I took the test for the first time a few years ago and found that my type is "ENFP" Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. I was so excited. I read the descriptions on whatever internet site I took the test on, and felt so known. Yes, I know that's ridiculous. But really, I totally identified with the description. It was so me. And it was very different from most of the people I was around during college, which made me feel even more special. And I love to feel special. Ps are very laid back. They don't like making set plans, they like to play things by ear. See what happens. Don't push it. Let things flow. Ps are very cool. I liked thinking of myself that way. Especially in the context of Stanford where many people had clear ideas about many things. For example, the courses they wanted to take three quarters in advance. No thanks.

Now that I'm out of school, things are different. Deadlines, e-mail response etiquette, deciding where to go for dinner. My attitude about all these things has shifted. I have come to loathe the "maybe" section of eVites. Why chose maybe when you can choose yes or no? Because let's be real, most people who chose maybe are just politely saying no. So just do the host a favor and say no upfront. I retook the test a few months ago. The results were quite revealing. Post college I am a J. Judging. And not just a little bit, but a very strong J. It was hard to accept for the first few minutes. But I've pretty much embraced it. It's not as cool as the P, it will never be. But there's something very satisfying about J. J is responsible, and knows what she wants. J is unapologetic and unconcerned with what other people think about her. J takes personality tests very, very seriously. Now I feel really empowered to be decisive. The test is only supposed to describe what's already there, but because I'm so impressionable, it has given me permission to adopt a new outlook.

In some ways I will remain P. I think it will always be hard for me to finish a book that isn't a page turner, and arrive somewhere early or on time, or pick out my outfit for the first day of anything without a second opinion.

must hold on to this

Breathe in: You are the potter
Breathe out: I am the clay

the highlight of my work day

1:57 PM me: how goes the work?

1:58 PM Jennifer: eh

having a hard time focusing

2:00 PM me : i can relate

2:01 PM i love when pandora plays multiple good songs in a row

21 minutes

2:23 PM Jennifer: yay :)

me: what are you doing tonight?

2:25 PM Jennifer: running

2:26 PM with my coworker

also doing some SP work

2:27 PM me: cool

well if you'd like, you can join me at panera in the pm????

2:28 PM i guess we're already in the pm

2:30 PM Jennifer: haha

2:31 PM what panera

and what time?

hmm

actually

I dohn't think so

b/c I won't have my stuff with me

I would need to go bck home

and that would be a pain

me: not till 8ish

santa monica

Jennifer: what time do they close??

2:32 PM me: i think 10.

i need to double check

Jennifer: that's not much time

me: eh...i know

maybe i shouldn't do the yoga

margh

8 minutes

2:40 PM Jennifer: margherita

2:41 PM me: i can't find the hours anywhere online :(

2:42 PM maybe i'll go there first, then go to the gym late

Jennifer: why don't you call them?

me: no one answers

2:43 PM Jennifer: oh

:(

6 minutes

2:50 PM me: i made contact

it's only open til 9

2:51 PM Jennifer: really

that is not much

me: maybe i'll just go right after work

then go to the gym on my way home

2:52 PM Jennifer: okay

2:53 PM me: are you eating dinner at home?

Jennifer: eventually

after I run

2:54 PM me: i don't know if i can wait...time is of the essence

not a second to spare!

tic, tic, tick

aaaaaah!

i'm going crazy here at my desk

aaaaah!

i'm going to explode

HEEEEELP

I can't take the spreadsheets anymore!

ALL THE SPREADSHEETS

2:55 PM Jennifer: oh my gosh

you're freakign out

2:56 PM me: deep breaths

2:57 PM okay, i'm better now

Jennifer: good

me: i definitely LOLed

then my boss came back

Jennifer: haha

me: i'll just have dinner at panera

by my lonesom

maybe those cute christian guys will be there aga in

6 minutes

3:04 PM Jennifer: hahaha

9 minutes

3:13 PM me: how does turkey chicpea chilli sound?

Jennifer: okay

3:16 PM me: just okay

3:17 PM Jennifer: yes

just okay

I think it could be good

but something about it when I just see the words makes me think of too much cumin

me: mmm

6 minutes

3:23 PM me: have you had soup there before?

i wonder if they let you taste them

Jennifer: uh

I don't think so

would be my guess

I haven't had soup there

3:24 PM me: not like an ice cream situation

3:27 PM Jennifer: what?

3:28 PM me: you know an ice cream situation, where you can taste before you buy

3:32 PM Jennifer: oh

right

here's the thing about LA...

I'm not making this up.

Role	Role Type	Gender/Age/Ethnicities	Description/Note
You and your life	Co-Star	Male or Female / 20 to 30 / All Ethnicities	We are looking for men and women ages 20-30 who are in the midst of a difficult personal crisis involving love, work or family. We are especially interested in relationship issues. If you: -are actively dating and looking for love -have lots of drama going on in your life -live in the LA area -are excited to talk about yourself on camera on the internet -are interested in being on a cool, new cutting edge broadband series PLEASE TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT THE DRAMA GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE

LA Fitness

 i had an audition for an la fitness training video this afternoon. four months ago i would have thought that was rediculous, yet there i was this afternoon, sitting in starbucks, faithfully going over my lines "Wow, a really fantastic workout? It's probably been three, four, five years. That's not so good is it?" That was the height of my character's arch I'd say. The weirdest part? Objectively it's not weird, but in my head it is: I was super nervous! I got there 20 min early so i could get settled and use the restroom, but as soon as i came out they were waiting for me. An actor who was also auditioning read the scene with me. There was a large room with a camera and three people behind a long desk. It was just like i would excpect an auditioning room to be. I had this moment where i was reaching into my plastic folder for my headshot (that i had just picked up from the printer 40min prior)--like "wow, so this is it. this is what i'm going to be seeing a lot of soon--hopefully." this moment, like i've arrived, at the fate of any person trying to get anywhere in the entertainment industry in this city. I'm there now too. Before when I could hear actors talking about auditions, and call backs an agents and SAG and on and on, I could kind of distance myself. No longer. It's sobering, and exciting too. Then I had a moment where  I was like --"doh, i shouldn't have had my headshot in a folder--wasting precious time taking it out". In retrospect I saw about three people outside of the building on the street leaving the audition I suppose just holding their headshots. And I thought "well, that's weird that they're not in an envelope or anything". Now I see this is a trick of the trade: take as little with you as possible. I will never again carry my headshot in a  clear plastic folder. The LA Fitness audition itself--not so hot. I got through the lines, but that was about it. They said "have fun with it" but what does that mean? Does that mean I should ad lib, or does that just mean they want me to look like I'm having fun with the very unnatural dialogue?  I don' t think I embarrassed myself, but if I were on the other side of the table I wouldn't have remembered my audition. As we were leaving the office the actor I was reading with tells me that it was great to work with me, etc--a great 1.5 minutes--then he says "Were you a little nervous?" "Yeah" I say "a little" then he says "I could tell, but I think it's okay because it kind of works with the character--you know, she's kind of nervous about just starting to work out again and...". At that moment I hate all actors, why do we say things like that? He was a nice guy though. I'm taking a commercial workshop starting tomorrow and i'm actually looking forward to learning about how to audition for commercials--I never thought I would say that.